Welcome to The Peaceful Nest’s series: “You’re failing as a Mommy” and other lies we tell ourselves. This is the first post in a 5 part series. Please come back throughout the next few weeks for new posts in this series!
“You’re failing as a Mommy” and Other Lies we tell ourselves Part 1
I heard the subtle voice in my head as though it was a bee buzzing around my ear and simply would not leave.
“You’re a bad mother. Your daughter is going to resent you when she’s older” I heard it loud and clear as I walked down the steps. I had just put my oldest to bed. We did her normal bedtime routine. She put on her jammies, brushed her teeth, then it was into the bed so I could read her one of her favorite bedtime stories. Afterwards, she asked me tell her a story, per our nightly ritual, so I did. I painted a beautiful picture of a little girl who lived in the forest with her pet Monkey. They played everyday with their best friends (subsequently named after her cousins and sister). 15 minutes later the story was over and I said “okay kiddo time for bed”. “No, mommy, I want to tell you a story. As usual her story, always follows up mine with very similar aspects. These are moments I treasure.
forty minutes after the start of her bedtime routine I tell her “okay B it’s time for bed. You need rest so you have plenty of energy tomorrow.”
“But mommy, can you please tell me just one more story.”
“No kiddo, that is all the stories we have time for tonight.” I say as I kiss her head and walk out her door. She turns over without complaint and nestles further under her covers.
But there is was, that nagging voice inside my head that said “You’re a bad mother. She’s going to resent you when she grows up.”
How ridiculous. I thought to myself.
However, that is not the first or last lie that has crept into my mind since having children. I know I am not alone. Do they ever creep into your mind while making parenting decisions, in your everyday activities, or maybe while disciplining your children?
“You’re being too hard on her when you discipline her.”
“You’re not disciplining her enough.”
“She doesn’t eat enough”
“She eats too much”
“Why can’t you make better parenting decisions?”
“You’re failing them.”
“You’re a terrible mother.”
“You don’t do enough activities with them”
“You don’t play with them enough”
Do you ever hear those thoughts in your own mind?
Granted I do not hear them all the time. But they always seem to sneak in when I’m feeling the most vulnerable about my parenting decisions or when my children are in the middle of epic meltdowns.
Why do we listen to these lies? Are we bombarded with them daily in today’s society? Do we compare ourselves to other Mommy’s? Do we let the outside world tell us what type of parent we are? Are we not listening to what God says about us?
I want to tell you today that those thoughts that sneak in your head are lies.
Do not listen to them. The ones that sneak in when you are starting to doubt your parenting skills. When you start to feel discouraged in this parenting journey try remembering what God tells us about ourselves instead!
A kindhearted woman gains respect. -Proverbs 11:16
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. -Proverbs 14:1
How happy is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways! You will be happy, and it will go well for you… You…will see your children’s children. -Psalms 128:1-2, 5-6
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. – Proverbs 31:30
And let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. – Galatians 6:9
When you are feeling down or as though you are failing as a Mommy, remember these verses!
Remember that God created you in your mother’s womb. He knew you before you were born. He knew your children before they were born because he created them too! God gave you the children you have because he knew YOU could raise them!
You are not failing as a Mommy!
You are dong the best you can.
Every child is different.
You know your child the best.
Momma, you know know what your child needs.
You are human and as long as you are loving your child and providing for their needs you are doing great!
YOU ARE A GREAT MOMMY!
and I am sure if you asked your child right now they would say the same thing.
You are a rock star sweet Momma and don’t you forget it!
Have a beautiful day!