Today I am starting a four-part series about children being a heritage from the Lord.
When B was just a year old, I had a conversation with a lady that I will always remember. It wasn’t a bad conversation. I didn’t have an epiphany or big revelation. This conversation will always stick with me because it reaffirmed what I already know about today’s society. What most people think about children and big families. Children are often looked at as a burden. They “eat” up the finances. Cut into your “me time.” Maybe they build up unwanted medical bills or slow you down in the grocery store. Maybe, just being pregnant with them and giving birth to them is a risk to you.
When did society start thinking of children as a burden and not a blessing?
I had just lost our son David. He was born early at 27 weeks. I laid on hospital bed rest with our daughter for a month before she was born at 32 weeks. She spent a month in the NICU, then home to us she came.
A year later, I encountered an acquaintance, she didn’t know our story, but I was happy to fill her in. After I was done she looked at me, eyes wide, mouth gaping, and said
“ehhhhh I would just stop there. Don’t try to have anymore, it really isn’t worth it.”
My ears were burning.
I had never even mentioned having more. Instead of gently asking me if we would ever consider having more, she gave me her (unwanted opinion) about what the size of our family should be. I get where she was coming from. My first two pregnancies were hard. I, along with the rest of my family, experienced nerve-wrecking anxiety to say the least and in the end I lost one of our children. Why should I risk it again?
I am not the only one who has experienced unwanted opinions regarding the sizes of our family or desire to grow our family.
We didn’t stop.
We tried again and we have our beautiful S. I also had a very uneventful, boring and smooth pregnancy with her. If I had listened and stopped after B, let my pregnancies scare me, we wouldn’t have her. My life wouldn’t be as full as it is now. S is a blessing from God. B is a blessing from God. David is a blessing from God.
My husband and I tried for another one, for quite a while. We have hit bumps along the way, like we usually do, even a possible chemical pregnancy. The heartache is real when you desire to grow your family, but it’s not happening quite like you pictured or as fast as you would like. So now we are growing our family through adoption.
So why do it?
When culture tells us, you have two, that is enough. Why continue growing your family when you have experienced losing one or two or three? Why try to grow your family after subsequent difficult pregnancies? Why try when after two or three you start receiving those side-eyes and comments like “all they are yours?” “Don’t you know what causes that?” The reason is simple. Children are a blessing from God. Psalms 127:3-5 says:
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
The Lord tells us right there that children are a blessing from Him.
They are not burdens. Children are not second class citizens. They are a heritage. A house that is filled with them is surely blessed.
The children in your home right now are a blessing. The children living on the streets, they are blessings too. The children overseas in the orphanages, they are just as much blessings as the children in your home. The child who is about to be aborted. That child was a blessing from God as well. When did we start viewing children as less? Less than us? Less than human? Less than a blessing?
Here’s the thing.
You can have as many children as you want, if you please. Have 2 or have 12. The number doesn’t make the blessing. However, if a family desires to grow their family, in any way, over and over again, who is society to tell them otherwise, when God, the creator of the universe, tells us BLESSED IS THE MAN WHOSE QUIVER IS FULL OF THEM??
Until next time,