My husband Ben and I have recently released our first book, Faith Actually. You can find it here on Amazon. Faith Actually: Living Life After Tragedy is also available on Amazon Kindle Unlimited! Writing and releasing this book is such a milestone in our life. I wanted to take some time and explain what Faith Actually is and why we decided to write it.
I could give you the short version: Benjamin and Jenna Jury share the death of their son David, the grief they shared, and how they found faith in God again. However, I honestly want to delve in a bit and explain how Faith Actually has come about to those of you who have no idea who I am and what my story is.
In 2010 I married my best friend. He is funny, smart, and one of the hardest working men I know. In 2011 we conceived our first child. A boy, whose due date was March 12, 2012. We were ecstatic. You know how children dream of what they want to be when they grow up? The only job I dreamed of as a little girl was being a wife and a mother. In December of 2011 I developed Pre-eclampsia, delivered our son David and buried him within a 13 day span.
David’s death propelled Ben and I into unfamiliar territory. I felt as though I was drowning. Waves were crashing down and I was yelling and waving my arms frantically, but no one heard me. That is what grief felt like to me. I lost my faith in God. I honestly wanted to turn my back on Him completely.
How did I come from sitting in the hospital room, threatening God, telling him if he takes my son, I will never believe in him again, to proclaiming his unfathomable goodness and grace?
The loss of a child is a nightmare. There is truly no other words to describe it in-depth. A parent should never have to watch their child slip from them. It happens. More than many people want to acknowledge. When I was pushed into this world of death and grief, a world I wanted no part of, I realized how many other people were right there in it with me. Why didn’t I know this? It is simple. Child loss is not something people want to talk about. It is too sad. Hits to close to home. Even in the Christian world.
It took us two years to write Faith Actually. I wanted to scrap it so many times. In this book both Ben and I allow ourselves to be vulnerable and real, as a Christian couple. A Christian couple who both grew up in church, loved the Lord, and believed that good things happen to those who love Him. As a Christian couple who were launched into the deep waters of grieve and death, not knowing where God was. I turned away from God. Ben clung to Him. Neither one of us were wrong in how we grieved.
We wrote this book because we want to shed light on child loss in the Christian community as well as in society in general. We want to offer hope and encouragement to those who have lost a love one, to those who may be questioning God. To that person who is finding it difficult to find a reason to live. Faith Actually is our story, of how we found God’s love and grace through his promises and through faith.
You can buy Faith Actually here.
Until next time,