When someone walks into my home, whether they are a new acquaintance or an old friend, I have noticed that they will typically say one of two things. “You’re home is so peaceful.” or “You’re home is so cozy.” I group cozy and peaceful together. In my mind they go hand in hand. I always strive to make my home peaceful. Peaceful for myself, peaceful for my kids and peaceful for my husband. I want it to be a safe haven from a cruel world. A place where my family and others can come and feel all their burdens melt away.
I believe most people desire peace in their lives, homes and families. The question is how? How do you create peace within our homes? Our nests so to speak? Is it about the decor you choose? The lighting you have? Is it about the amount of pillows and blankets you display? Or is it something so much deeper? I believe creating peace goes so much deeper than what we own. Creating a peaceful home start with what is inside of us. Are you peaceful? I know that there are many different areas in our lives that can frustrate us. I understand that it can become easy to lose our cool. Do you let your frustration and anger control you? Is creating a peaceful atmosphere more important to you than winning an argument or letting your family know you aren’t happy?
Creating peace is not always simple. That is why I have gathered my top three tools I use to create a home that emulates peace and comfort.
Three Tools To Create A Peaceful Home.
1. Be at peace with yourself. I notice that I am the most cranky and unkind to those around me when I am stressed, insecure, or unsure about myself. My mind may be elsewhere, then my daughter does something that pushes me a tiny bit. I snap. Most of the time that little offense was not worth a raised eyebrow. Let alone a snappy response. I know I am not the only one. Taking the time to look out for yourself, making sure your stress level is down, will make it easier to create a peaceful environment. You know that old saying “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” As funny as that sounds, its 98% true. Children feed off their mother’s energy. They can feel it when we are stressed, hurt, or anxious. It in turn makes them stressed, hurt or anxious. The same goes for our husbands. But aren’t they the head of the household? Aren’t they grown men? True. But there is a reason God created male and female. Women truly are the heart of the home and in turn the heart of society. We have the ability to make or break our families spirits. It is up to use to decide daily if we are going to build up or tear down.
Proverbs 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.“
2. Take a break. Cliche right? We hear that all the time. But I am a mom. I am a woman. I can do it all. I can do everything. HEAR ME ROAR! The reality is all those help books are onto something. We CAN”T do it all. No matter how much we want to tell ourselves we can. We need a village. Back in the day, people and women especially, were more connected than we are today, with those around them. We may be more social online because of technology, but there is a disconnect. We try to do it all and then we look around and realize we have no one to fall back on when we need help. I encourage you. If you find yourself roaring like a lion (not in a good way) to those around you. TAKE A BREAK. Whether it is a break from work, your kids, your family, or society in general. Whether it is 5 minutes or 5 days. Maybe it is just a break to your bedroom, alone for 5 minutes. Maybe it is a trip for 5 days alone or with your spouse. Whatever it may be. Take it. Make it a priority. You are doing no one any favors by trying to do everything and stressing yourself out to the breaking point. Do yourself a favor and refresh. Come back re-energized from that break and start over.
3. Remember that you don’t know what someone is going through. Try to be kind to everyone you meet. Technically those are two things, but I believe they go hand in hand. We really do not know what someone is going through. Keeping that thought in the back of your head will help you focus on being kind to everyone. Whether it is the person you are holding the door open for, the slow driver in front of you, or a family member. I want to tell you a story. In 2011, my husband and I lost our son David. Two days after he passed away, I went to the local CVS to have the photos of his last day developed. I called first to see if they were ready. It had taken hours longer than what was expected. I was growing weary and impatient. I had just had an emergency c-section a little over a week before. I was more than sore, I was in quite a bit of pain. I hadn’t been sleeping because I kept having reaccuring dreams about David’s death. I was more than tired I was exhausted. My milk had come in. I had been pumping non-stop for six days. Then, David died, my body didn’t seem to understand that he was gone. My milk kept coming. I had to pump and dump. That in itself felt like some cruel joke my body was playing on me. I had all of these things on my mind, plus my grief over losing my son. The lady who was on the phone with me was extremely hateful. I remember hearing her impatience with me in the tone of her voice. When I went to pick up the pictures, I was met with the same hateful woman. Rude. She had an air about her, that made it seem as though she thought she was better than everyone else. The hatefulness remained at the store. I held my tongue, although I didn’t want to. A part of me wanted to lay into her. A part of me wanted to scream “I just watched my son die in my arms lady, I don’t have time for your self entitled rudeness” But then I stopped myself. You see, this lady did not know that I had just lost my son. To her, I was just some Jane Doe that came in off of the street. Should that have mattered? No, I believe you should be kind to everyone for this very reason. However, I did not know what was going on in her life either. Maybe she had just lost her son too. Or maybe she was going through a divorce. Or maybe she was struggling financially. Or maybe she was just having a really bad day. I don’t know and I will never know. That day however, reaffirmed in my mind, the importance of being kind to everyone you meet.
Kindness is contagious. It’s just like smiling. When you do it, other people will too. When you are kind then the peace will wash over you like a flood. When you walk into a peaceful atmosphere, something inside of you changes. Your burdens melt away and you start to feel safe from a cruel world. Finding peace in the chaos is just to important not to try.
Until next time,