Yes, My Hands are Full
You have your hands full.
If you are a parent or a caregiver, chances are you have heard this phrase a time or two. It seems if you have more than two children in your care, then your hands are automatically deemed full.
This phrase doesn’t bother me. I actually take it as a complement.
My hands are full.
They are filled with love.
My hands are filled with little lives that need shaping and guiding.
Lives that need care and attention.
It is the most important job a person can have.
Today I was taking a walk with my two children, my two nieces and nephew, as well as my sister. The big kids were loaded up in a wagon that my sister pulled. I was pushing a double stroller with the babies.
When I am out and about with them, many people automatically assume they all belong to me. Even my sister, who is in her teens and taller than me.
An older lady walked by with two teenagers, most likely her grandchildren, and uttered those words to me. goodness you have your hands full! She didn’t really even make eye contact. I kind of chuckled and said yes I do.
Now, I’m 99% positive she didn’t mean that phrase as demeaning. It is just something someone says to make small talk to women who seem to be over their head or have an over abundance of children with them. I don’t consider having my hands full as a bad thing.
This comment got me thinking about a previous post I wrote on children being a blessing.
I may not be offended by this phrase. But it does rub some people the wrong way. As though the commenter is saying “why do you have so many children in your care. How irresponsible.” Even if it’s not meant that way.
If you are one of those women who feel hurt by these words I want to encourage you to keep these truths in mind.
You are raising arrows, and that is the biggest job you could have.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the children born in one’s youth. Psalm 127:4
Important. That is what your job is as a parent, a grandparent, aunt, uncle, sister, caregiver. The children in your life are easily molded, influenced, shaped etc. God calls us to guide them towards the right direction, while being there to correct and love, if they go astray. If you keep in mind that the job you have is bigger than you can imagine and 100x important than any other job, then this should negate any negative comments you may receive, intentionally or unintentionally.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Opinions take no effort to form and are often developed by what people grow up hearing or listen to now. Therefore, if someone is giving you their opinion, it doesn’t mean what they are saying is fact. You can choose to take it or leave it. If the opinion is unwanted, let it bounce off of you. If the opinion was one you sought out, but it opposes the opinion you originally started with, then consider it, research it, but don’t let it make you feel inferior.
Because you are not inferior.
You are amazing
You are important.
You are the best parent for the children God has placed in your care, biological, foster, adoptive, grand children. You are enough.
Your hands may be full but make sure they are full with love.
What good are our hands and our abilities if they are not put to good use? Whether you have two children or twelve children, that is your decision. What you do with the very few years you have raising your children will determine what type of adults they become. Yes I know there are other outside influences, school, church, friends and family. However, Your child’s home base should be the most influential voice they hear.
So use those full hands to shape loving and kind children who grow up to be loving and kind adults. Use those full hands to show your children how to make their own decisions, be their own person and not allow the opinions of others to determine who they are. Use those full hands to show them who God says they are and help your children become rooted in his words and promises.
The next time someone says to you, you have your hands full reply with yes, I do, they are full of love!
Until next time,