For the longest time I suffered from something without realizing it.
I continuously tried to have peace while doing “it all.” You may be thinking to yourself. You’re a stay-at-home mom. What could you possibly do all day? More than many people can imagine. Here is the thing though. It doesn’t matter if you are a stay-at home mom or a working mom. The truth is we are all just trying to do the best we can. We often come up short. Our “best” is barely passing as good enough because almost every one of us are trying to do it all and have it all.
The simple fact is, it’s impossible to do it all. It is also impossible to “have it all.” Finally, I grew tired of striving after peace and still trying to do it all. I knew something had to give. There was something inside of me that just wasn’t getting it.
What was it?
Well, first we need to look at what peace is?
Peace is defined as freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility and freedom from or the cessation of war or violence.
What? Freedom from or the cessation of war or violence?
You may be thinking to yourself “But there are no war or violence going on right now. Everything around me is calm, why do I feel so much turmoil?”
It’s because there may be a battle raging inside of you that you may not be aware of. A spiritual battle, an emotional battle, a battle with your family. Sometimes, as mother’s we do all we can to “do it all” and “make everyone happy” but at the end of the day we are bent and torn and burnt out. Then we snap. Why? Maybe you are like I was. Maybe you continuously ask God for his peace during the day, but then at the end of the day, the peace is gone. I realized recently that I probably didn’t have peace after all. Maybe what I had, was a façade. A fake face. Maybe I took the “faking it until you make it “saying to literally.
I don’t want to “fake it until I make it”, though.
I want to have peace and show my family that it is possible to be peaceful in every circumstance. How do I do that though? I asked myself, what was it that I was lacking? I was in denial at first but then I realized two things.
The first was, I need to rest in God, every single day. I need to make him a priority.
Sure I was doing my five-minute devotions here and there. I was saying a prayer here and there. Then I was going about my day, forgetting to rest in God. Forgetting that I needed to actually seek God’s character and see what he says. I wasn’t making an effort to grow my spiritual fruits.
Maybe you are like me. Maybe you are thinking, well I do what I can with the hours in the day that we have. There simply isn’t enough time. Make time. Trust me. It is worth it.
I started getting up at 4 am every day. Yes, 4 am. And everyone who knows me, knows that I love my sleep. I have always hated waking up early. However, I was a frazzled mess, if I woke up with my kids, I started getting agitated, because I didn’t have time to do all I wanted to do before they started jabbering my ear off. Oh how I love to hear them talk. They are beautiful morning people, just like their Daddy. Their mommy isn’t a morning person though. I realized I needed to make an effort to change that. I needed time with the Lord and time to myself, so I could offer them the best of me, every single day.
First I needed to carve a way a good chunk of time to spend with God.
I wanted it to be the very first thing I did every morning. I also wanted to work out and prepare for the day. I realized if I started dying to my flesh and getting up earlier than normal, three hours to be exact, then I would have plenty of time to do it. It is that big of a priority to me. Now I am not saying you need to get up at four am.
What I am saying is, if you are searching for peace, make time to see what God says about it, every single day, make time to pray. Make it a priority. It is just that important. Ask my husband, there has been a major change in my peace. I’m still human, but I am no longer quick to speak, to get defensive, to get frazzled. It’s truly an amazing thing. I know that is what God wants for every one of us. To live every day in his peace.
Philippians 4:7 says “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Colossians 3:15 says “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
We were called to peace. Peace will guard our minds and hearts. God wants peace for all of us. It is possible to attain. You just need to make it a priority to receive.
The second thing I realized was I can’t do it all.
This is a hard pill to swallow because as Mother’s we want to show our children that all things are possible. In today’s society, we are fed this lie that we CAN do everything and we CAN HAVE everything. The big house, fancy car, happy family, thriving careers, great relationships, amazing education. There is nothing wrong with wanting those things. There is nothing wrong with going after something you desire for yourself and your family. If it isn’t your first priority.
Trying to have it all though comes at a cost. Our peace and our family’s peace are often the first to go. After those are gone, then go your relationships with the people who are most important to you. Before you know it, no one has peace. Your home life is in shambles, and you are stretched thin and burnt out. I have seen it in my own life. I have seen it in the life of others. It is not a fun place to be. Unfortunately, so many people fall prey to the lie that they can have it all and do it all, sacrificing that which God wants for us.
Peace. His Peace.
If you are struggling like I was, looking for that peace that surpasses all understanding. Not knowing what to do or where to go. I encourage you to first, figure out what you are prioritizing right now. Is God the first thing? If not, make Him a priority. Ask him to give you peace, daily. Then realize you cannot do it all. It is not possible. It is not worth it. Figure out what is important to you and do it well. This is better than doing a million things mediocre.
I am currently reading Teaching from Rest written by Sarah Mackenzie. If you are a home school Mom, I encourage you to read this book. It has helped me tremendously. In her book Sarah says that “if God wanted us to have 37 hours in our day, He would have given us 37 hours in our day.” Trying to fit 37 hours of “doing something” in 24 hours is not possible and a recipe for disaster!
Peace is possible. A peaceful life is possible! It is God’s desire for you, me and all of his children.
Until next time,